Offmessage

In the first few weeks of the life of both my daughters (and for many months that followed in the case of the first) I had a feeling that a body temperature, nearly vertical bed that had a simulated heartbeat would be a real winner. If it could replicate the sensation of lying on my or Claire’s chest then both of them would have slept like a dream without being carried from the first moment of arrival. It appears that I am not the only father with dreams of automated childcare – Lullabub attaches to your child’s cot and gently rocks it, allowing you to sneak off to the pub (or something).

Home births are the way forward. I can’t thank York Community midwives enough for making the birth such an amazing experience. (Speaking as the one who didn’t actually do the giving birth, of course).

Claire came back from a trip into town today and excitedly showed me her latest purchase:

The Art of Hiding Vegetables

And no, this isn’t some Rude Food-a-like. Oh no. It’s how to sneak greens into your recalcitrant toddler’s diet.

Any parent (owner, keeper, warden, whatever) of a toddler will know exactly how crushingly stupid Daylight Saving Time is. I hated it before I had kids. Now it actually damages my health.

And this – colloquially know as the snot sucker – is one. Ew. Bloody useful though.

Children weened on beige food prefer chips and crisps in later life. Does anyone make a green rusk?

As I recently discovered choosing names for your kids is one of the most frightening decisions you’ll ever have to make… You don’t want one that’s too popular (who’d want their unique offspring to be one of 5 Marks or Agathas in the class), but you don’t want one that’s too weird or old fashioned (other kids can be so cruel in the playground)… Here then, is the Baby Name Voyager – charting popularity of names (admittedly in the US) over time in a lovely Java applet. For a more UK centric view the ONS is always worth a look (although it’s nowhere near as pretty).

That’ll be me then. (Or more accurately, that’ll be what I’d like to be then… A little more cash would help).

Apparently only 1 in 16 children prefer to play with their dads, because they’re too competitive. My dad didn’t even let me win rainbow towers.